The Story of "Rebirth" (Sandi Neiman)

I have always been an artist, but only in the past few years did I become a painter. My painting emerged as a response to a deeply spiritual wondering about my life’s purpose. I had begun questioning the direction I should take after leaving an executive career that had left me emotionally bereft and empty. As part of my spiritual identity was awakening, I re-engaged with the Jewish community after many years as a spectator. This experience of deciding to become actively involved in the lessons and lifecycle of Judaism stimulated these aspects of my artistic self, enabling me to express myself through abstract art.  

This particular painting diptych, Rebirth, is a set of two conjoined pieces representing the spiritual emergence of sitting still and being present. While the pieces have movement within them, they truly represent the act of listening at a deeper level and hearing the voices within. At the moment of painting, at one point, I was listening to a Torah portion about stillness and the divine voices we are able to convene when we need our own guidance. I felt the presence of being pulled towards something, yet to be determined. Rather than resist, I allowed myself to go silent and be drawn forward.

When I think of Shemita, the year of allowing the land to go fallow and still, I am reminded of my own journey of doing….and moving at a fast pace…and never allowing myself to hear my own voice. Being outdoors among plants and trees and living things is a great teacher in this respect—to see, listen, and feel that connection. I find it necessary to stop now, and be present with what is, without the pressure of what is to become. It is only through the sound of nothing can I truly hear at all.

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Sandi Neiman is a therapist and painter in Austin, TX. Visit sandineiman.com to see more of Sandi’s work. This article is part of our Winter 2021 collection, Shmita Now, guest-edited by Yaira Robinson.